An Irish Country Welcome Read online

  I have in all the previous Irish Country novels provided a glossary to help the reader who is unfamiliar with the vagaries of the Queen’s English as it may be spoken by the majority of people in Ulster. This is a regional dialect akin to English as spoken in Yorkshire or on Tyneside. It is not Ulster-Scots, which is claimed to be a distinct language in its own right. I confess I am not a speaker.

  Today in Ulster (but not 1969 when this book is set) official signs are written in English, Irish, and Ulster-Scots. The washroom sign would read Toilets, Leithris (Irish), and Cludgies (Ulster-Scots). I hope what follows here will enhance your enjoyment of the work, although, I am afraid, it will not improve your command of Ulster-Scots.

  acting the lig: Behaving like an idiot.

  almoner: Medical social worker.

  anyroad: Anyway.

  arse: Ass. Backside.

  away off (and feel your head/bumps/and chase yourself): Don’t be stupid.

  bake: Ulster pronunciation of “beak.” Mouth.

  baldy-nut: Bald person.

  beat Bannagher: Wildly exceed expectations.

  bide: Wait patiently.

  blethering on: Talking rubbish or inappropriately.

  blue: Equivalent of a varsity letter at a North American university.

  blurt: A horrid person.

  bollix/bollox: Testicles (impolite), or foul-up.

  bonkers/stark raving: Mad/completely.

  Bonios: A commercial brand of dog food.

  bonnaught: Irish mercenary of the fourteenth century.

  bore: Of a shotgun, gauge.

  borrow: Lend.

  bound and determined: Absolutely set upon.

  boys-a-dear or boys-a-boys: Expression of amazement.

  brave: Large number.

  break: At school, recess.

  brickie: Bricklayer.

  bruit: A murmuring sound. From the French bruit, a noise.

  bullock: Castrated male bovine. Steer.

  burn: Small stream.

  can’t feel nothing: double negative; can’t feel anything.

  casualty: ER.

  cèilidh: Irish. Pronounced “kaylee.” Party with traditional Irish dancing and music.

  chancer: A sly and devious person.

  chissler/chisler: Dublin slang for “baby.”

  chuffed: Pleased.

  clatter: Indeterminate number. See also wheen. The size of the number can be enhanced by adding “brave” or “powerful” as a precedent to either. As an exercise, try to imagine the numerical difference between a “brave clatter” and a “powerful wheen” of spuds.

  come on on (on) in: Is not a typographical error. This item of Ulsterspeak drives spellcheck mad.

  cough up: Give the money.

  craic: Pronounced “crack.” Practically untranslatable, it can mean great conversation and fun (the craic was ninety) or “What has happened since I saw you last?” (What’s the craic?). Often seen outside pubs in the Republic of Ireland: “Craic agus ceol” fun and music.

  CS gas: A tear gas used in riot control.

  cup of tea/scald in your hand: An informal cup of tea, as opposed to tea that was synonymous with the main evening meal (dinner).

  dead/dead on: Very/absolutely right or perfectly.

  desperate: Terrible or terribly.

  don’t try to teach your granny to suck eggs: Do not try to instruct an expert in how to do their job.

  do-re-mi: Dough. Money.

  drúishin: Irish. Pronounced “drisheen.” Dish made of cows’ blood, pigs’ blood, and oatmeal. A County Cork delicacy.

  duff: Useless.

  duncher: Flat cloth cap.

  eejit/buck eejit: Idiot/complete idiot.

  estate agent: Realtor.

  fit as a flea: Very well.

  ferocious: Extreme.

  football pools: A commercial gambling game. Once purchased from a company like Littlewoods, the ticket contained all the top-level soccer teams’ games for that Saturday. To win the prize the gambler had to predict from ten, eleven, or twelve matches which would end in a draw. The best prediction won. The stakes were low, the prize high.

  footering: Fiddling about uselessly.

  gag: Joke or a funny person.

  gander: Look-see or male goose.

  gargle: Alcoholic drink.

  gas-passer: Medical slang for anesthesiologist.

  glipe: Idiot.

  goat (ould): Stupid person (old), but used as a term of affection.

  gobshite: Horrible person. Literally dried nasal mucus.

  grand (altogether/so): Good (very good).

  gurning: Making inchoate or openly stated noises of complaint.

  guttees: Plimsol shoes, or trainers/sneakers. So called because the soles were made of gutta percha.

  half cut: Drunk.

  hard stuff: Liquor.

  heart in my mouth: Scared stiff.

  heart of corn: Very good-natured.

  hey, bye: Hey, boy.Verbal add-on common in those from County Antrim.

  higheejin: Very important person, often only in the subject’s own mind.

  hobby-horse shite (head is full of): Literally sawdust, and having a head full of it meant you were incredibly stupid.

  hooley: Party.

  hot press: Cupboard built round the hot-water tank so that clothes stored in there would be warm.

  houl’ your wheest: Be quiet.

  houseman: Medical or surgical intern. In the ’60s used regardless of the sex of the young doctor.

  how’s about ye/you?: How are you?

  humdinger: Something exceptional.

  ignorant: A most derogatory term suggesting a total lack of education.

  I’m your man: “I agree and will go along with what you are proposing.”

  in soul: Honestly.

  jag: Jab or injection.

  jammy: Lucky.

  keek: Quick look.

  kilter (out of): Alignment (out of).

  knock your socks off: Beat you soundly.

  learning: Teaching. Often the meaning of verbs is reversed as in “learning me to swim.”

  legless: Drunk.

  let the hare sit: Let sleeping dogs lie.

  lift: Ride, arrest, and elevator. Context gives meaning.

  living bejasus: Literally “living by Jesus.” Living daylights.

  lummox: Large ungainly creature.

  marbles/all her: Wits/completely sane.

  MC: Master of ceremonies.

  midder: Midwifery, now called obstetrics.

  morra, the: Tomorrow.

  mind: Remember.

  neat: Of a drink of spirits. Straight up.

  never: Did not.

  no dozer: Very clever or skilled.

  no harm til you, but: “I do not mean to cause you any offence,” usually followed by, “you are absolutely wrong,” or an insult.

  no spring chicken: Not young anymore.

  not at all: Emphatic no.

  och: Exclamation to register whatever emotion you wish. “Och, isn’t she lovely?” “Och, he’s dead?” “Och, damn it.” Pronounced like clearing your throat.

  on eggs: Extremely nervous.

  operating theatre: OR.

  oul’/d: Old.

  Oul’/d hand: My friend.

  Panadol: Paracetamol, known in North America as Tylenol.

  pan loaf: White bread cooked in a pan. Term used most commonly in Scotland and Northern Ireland.

  paralytic: Very drunk.

  parlour: Lounge.

  party piece: Performance to be given at social events.

  Peeler: Policeman. (Founded by Sir Robert Peel in 1829. Also, in England known as bobbies.)

  peely-wally: Unwell. From lowland Scots.

  pethidine: Demerol.

  pew: Seat in a church.

  potato crisps: Potato chips.

  privy: Outside lavatory.

  puff (in my): Life. Used in the phrase “never in my puff,” meaning “never in my life.”

  put one over
: Cheat.

  ranks of junior medical staff and North American equivalents: Houseman: intern. Senior house officer: junior resident. Registrar: more senior resident. Senior registrar (usually attained after passing the speciality examinations): chief resident.

  rickets, near taking the: Nothing to do with the vitamin-D-deficiency disease, but an expression of having had a great surprise or shock.

  rightly (do): Very well. (Be adequate if not perfect for the task.)

  rubbernecker: Someone showing idle curiosity.

  run race: Short trip.

  sean nos: Traditional hard-shoe Irish dancing.

  sharp as a tack: Very quick-witted.

  shenanigans: Carryings-on.

  shite/shit: “Shite” is the noun (“He’s a right shite”); “shit” the verb (“I near shit a brick”).

  short-changed: Literally, given back less than the correct amount of money when paying a bill with a banknote of larger denomination than the cost. Cheated.

  sick line: Physician’s certification that a patient has been ill and is entitled to sickness insurance payments.

  sicken your happiness: Disappoint you greatly.

  sister (nursing): In Ulster hospitals nuns at one time filled important nursing roles. They no longer do so except in some Catholic institutions. Their honorific, “Sister,” has been retained to signify a senior nursing rank. Ward sister: charge nurse. Sister tutor: senior nursing teacher. (Now also obsolete because nursing is a university course.) In North America the old rank was charge nurse or head nurse, now nursing team leader unless it has been changed again since I retired.

  snaps: Abbreviation of “snapshots.” Photographs.

  snarky: Bad-tempered. See also tetchy.

  soft day: Rainy weather.

  sojer: Soldier.

  so sharp you’ll cut yourself: Too clever by half.

  so/so it is, etc: Tacked to the end of a sentence for emphasis in Counties Cork/Ulster.

  sore: Painful. Sorely. Very badly.

  sound (man): Terrific (trustworthy, reliable, admirable man).

  spuds: Potatoes.

  sticking out/a mile: Good/excellent.

  stocious: Drunk.

  sweets/sweeties: Candies.

  surgery: Doctor’s office.

  take a grip: Pull yourself together.

  take the light from your eyes: Astound you.

  take yourself off by the hand: Just go away and stop irritating me.

  taste: A small amount and not always edible. “Thon wheel needs a wee taste of oil.”

  tea: The main evening meal.

  tea in your hand: An informal cup of tea.

  tetchy: Ill-tempered, perhaps a corruption of “touchy.” See also snarky.

  that there/them there: That/them with emphasis.

  the morra: Tomorrow.

  thon/thonder: That or there. “Thon eejit shouldn’t be standing over thonder.”

  thran: Bloody-minded.

  threw up/off: Vomited.

  tick VG: Check mark “Very Good” on a page. Teacher’s lauditory assessment of an assignment.

  toff: Upper-class person.

  toffee-nosed: Stuck-up.

  tongue hanging out: Dying for a drink.

  took a turn: Suddenly feeling unwell.

  townland: A mediaeval administrative region comprising a village and the surrounding countryside.

  turn in the eye: Squint.

  wee: Small, but in Ulster can be used to modify almost anything without reference to size. A barmaid, an old friend, greeted me by saying, “Come in, Pat. Have a wee seat and I’ll get you a wee menu, and would you like a wee drink while you’re waiting?”

  wee north: Northern Ireland.

  well mended: Healed properly.

  up the spout: Pregnant.

  wheeker: Terrific.

  wheen: An indeterminate number. “How many miles is it to the nearest star?” “Dunno, but it must be a brave wheen.” See clatter.

  whiskey/whisky: With the e it is Irish whiskey. Without the e it is Scotch whisky.

  yoke: Whatchamacallit.

  you-boy/girl-ye: Words of encouragement.

  your man: Someone who is not known. “Your man over there. Who is he?” Or someone known to all. “Your man, Van Morrison.”

  youse: Plural of “you.”

  BY PATRICK TAYLOR

  An Irish Country Doctor

  An Irish Country Village

  An Irish Country Christmas

  An Irish Country Girl

  An Irish Country Courtship

  A Dublin Student Doctor

  An Irish Country Wedding

  Fingal O’Reilly, Irish Doctor

  The Wily O’Reilly: Irish Country Stories

  An Irish Doctor in Peace and at War

  An Irish Doctor in Love and at Sea

  An Irish Country Love Story

  An Irish Country Practice

  An Irish Country Cottage

  An Irish Country Family

  Only Wounded

  Pray for Us Sinners

  Now and in the Hour of Our Death

  “Home Is the Sailor” (e-original)

  About the Author

  PATRICK TAYLOR, M.D., was born and raised in Bangor County Down in Northern Ireland. Dr. Taylor is a distinguished medical researcher, offshore sailor, model-boat builder, and father of two grown children. He lives on Saltspring Island, British Columbia.

  Visit him online at www.patricktaylorauthor.com, or sign up for email updates here.

  Thank you for buying this

  Tom Doherty Associates ebook.

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  CONTENTS

  Title Page

  Copyright Notice

  Dedication

  Acknowledgments

  Author’s Note

  Maps

  1. Day and Night Love Sang

  2. My Head Is Bloody

  3. Walk in Newness of Life

  4. Harmful to the Brain

  5. Like Many of the Upper Class

  6. Who Knows If the Moon’s a Balloon?

  7. A Formidable Opposition

  8. We Are All on Our Last Cruise

  9. To Win or Lose It All

  10. Shutteth up His Bowel

  11. Hope That Keeps up a Wife’s Spirits

  12. To Begin with the Beginning

  13. Around the Ancient Track Marched

  14. A Baby Brings Its Own Welcome

  15. To Comfort All That Mourn

  16. Endure the Toothache

  17. Another Race Hath Been

  18. My Glory Was I Had Such Friends

  19. Put a Duck on a Lake

  20. He Turneth It Upside Down

  21. No Man Is Born an Angler

  22. And Singing Still Dost Soar

  23. I Have Had My Labour for My Travail

  24. The Nearest-Run Thing You Ever Saw

  25. Launched His Frail Boat on the Rough Sea

  26. And There We Saw the Giants

  27. Make Haste Slowly

  28. Fight like Devils

  29. Are Beautiful Through Love

  30. The End Is to Build Well

  31. Harvest Is Truly Plenteous

  32. Crime and Punishment

  33. Clearing the World of Its Most Difficult Problems

  34. The New Year’s Ruin

  35. And the Blood Ran Down

  36. From Hope and Fear Set Free

  Afterword

  Glossary

  By Patrick Taylor

  About the Author

  Copyright

  This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.
<
br />   AN IRISH COUNTRY WELCOME

  Copyright © 2020 by Ballybucklebo Stories Corp.

  All rights reserved.

  Maps by Elizabeth Danforth

  Cover art by Gregory Manchess

  A Forge Book

  Published by Tom Doherty Associates

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  New York, NY 10271

  www.tor-forge.com

  Forge® is a registered trademark of Macmillan Publishing Group, LLC.

  The Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available upon request.

  ISBN 978-1-250-25730-7 (hardcover)

  ISBN 978-1-250-25729-1 (ebook)

  eISBN 9781250257291

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  First Edition: 2020