An Irish Country Practice Read online

  Cut the dough into four wedges (farls) and place on the griddle. They should take 5 to 10 minutes on each side. Just to be sure they are cooked through to the centre, you could test with a skewer. Now put the farls on their edges and turn them every few minutes so that the side edges are cooked too. This is called “harning.” Allow to cool on a wire rack under a slightly damp Irish linen tea towel. These can be frozen until required.

  These farls are very quick to make but if you are in a hurry you could substitute vegetable oil for butter and add with the buttermilk. If you cannot find buttermilk in the store you could use sweet milk with the addition of a teaspoonful of cream of tartar and a little lemon juice.

  BEEF STEW AND SCONE DUMPLINGS

  BEEF STEW

  Serves 4

  18 oz. / 510 g stewing steak

  Salt and freshly ground black pepper

  2 tablespoons flour

  2 tablespoons canola or rapeseed oil

  2 large onions, chopped

  2 large carrots, peeled and chopped

  1 parsnip, peeled and chopped

  1 lb. / 450 g mushrooms

  35 oz. /1 litre beef stock

  Small bunch of thyme

  Cut the steak into 2-inch chunks and coat in the flour, which you have seasoned well with salt and pepper.

  Heat the oil in a casserole or pan with a lid. Gradually add the meat to the hot oil and brown on all sides. Don’t add too much at a time. When all the meat has been sealed, remove it from the casserole to a plate. Now gradually add the prepared vegetables and a little more oil if necessary. Don’t worry about the brown caramelised remains of the meat as this all adds to the flavour. Stir the vegetables around for a few minutes and then return the meat to the dish.

  Pour over the stock and cook, stirring to scrape the remains from the bottom. Add the thyme and allow to simmer slowly, stirring occasionally, for 2 or 3 hours. Remove the lid and the thyme stalks and cook for a further 30 minutes or so until the liquid has reduced by about half.

  Serve with scone cobbler on top and a side of champ.

  SCONE COBBLER TOPPING

  3½ oz. / 100 g wholemeal flour

  3½ oz. / 100 g plain flour

  2 teaspoons baking powder

  ½ teaspoon bicarbonate of soda (baking soda)

  A pinch of salt

  1 tablespoon finely chopped rosemary

  1 tablespoon chopped parsley

  5½ oz. / 156 g cheddar cheese, grated

  4 to 5 tablespoons buttermilk

  1 egg, beaten

  Mix all the dry ingredients, except the parsley, and herbs in a bowl, reserving some of the grated cheese. Stir in the milk gradually to make a soft dough. You may not need all the milk or you may need a little more.

  Work quickly on a floured surface and roll out to about 1 inch thick at least. Now cut out round scones, glaze with beaten egg, and cover the surface of the beef stew in the casserole with the scones. Top the scones with the reserved grated cheese, pressing it down a little so that it sticks to the scone.

  Bake on top of the beef casserole in a hot oven, 425ºF / 220ºC, uncovered for 25 minutes or until the scone topping has risen and is golden brown.

  Sprinkle some chopped parsley on top before serving.

  CRÈME CARAMEL

  Serves 4 to 6

  3 tablespoons water

  8 oz. / 225 g sugar, divided

  15 oz. / 425 mL thick cream

  1 tablespoon / 15 mL pure vanilla essence or a whole vanilla pod split in half vertically

  4 eggs

  Grated chocolate and mint leaves to decorate

  Butter to grease ramekins

  Preheat the oven to 375ºF / 180ºC.

  First you make the caramel by putting the water and 6 oz. / 175 g of the sugar into a pan. Bring this to the boil and cook until the sugar has dissolved—about 4 to 5 minutes. The sugar will now be a caramel colour and will be very hot. Carefully pour this into 4 to 6 greased ramekin dishes, swirling as you go to coat the sides and bottom. Leave aside to harden and cool.

  Into the same pan pour the cream and vanilla and bring to simmering point. Then remove the vanilla pod (if using).

  Now whisk the eggs, together with the rest of the sugar in a bowl and, still continuing to whisk, add the hot cream. Now pour this through a sieve into the ramekin dishes.

  Butter the ramekin dishes and put them into a deep baking pan. Pour enough boiling water in to just come about two-thirds of the way up the sides of the ramekin. Put in the oven and bake until set with a bit of a wobble. Depending on the size of the ramekin this should take about 15 to 20 minutes but may need a little bit longer.

  Remove from the roasting pan and leave to cool before chilling in the refrigerator.

  To serve, turn out onto a plate, sprinkle with grated chocolate, and decorate with a mint leaf.

  GLOSSARY

  I have in all the previous Irish Country novels provided a glossary to help the reader who is unfamiliar with the vagaries of the Queen’s English as it may be spoken by the majority of people in Ulster. This is a regional dialect akin to English as spoken in Yorkshire or on Tyneside, or the American English as spoken in, say, Appalachia or Louisiana. It is not Ulster-Scots, which is claimed to be a distinct language in its own right. I confess I am not a speaker.

  Today in Ulster (but not in 1967, when this book is set) official signs are written in English, Irish, and Ulster-Scots. The washroom sign would read Toilets, Leithris, (Irish) and Cludgies, (Ulster-Scots). Not all the words defined here will be found in this work’s text, but have appeared throughout the series. In light of the number of letters I have received telling me how much the glossaries have been enjoyed, please simply consider the additions as added value. I hope what follows here will enhance your enjoyment of the work, although, I am afraid, it will not improve your command of Ulster-Scots.

  achara: Irish. My dear.

  acting the lig/maggot: Behaving like an idiot.

  ails: Afflicts.

  aluminium: Aluminum.

  amadán: Irish. Pronounced “omadawn.” Idiot.

  and all: Addition to a sentence for emphasis.

  anyroad: Anyway.

  arse: Backside. (Impolite.)

  astray in the head: Out of one’s mind.

  at himself/not at himself: He’s feeling well/not feeling well.

  away off (and feel your head/and chase yourself): Don’t be stupid.

  away on (out of that): I don’t believe you.

  aye certainly: Of course, or naturally.

  bairn: From Scots. Child.

  balaklava: Knitted face protector like a ski mask with a hole for the mouth and one for each eye.

  baldy-nut: Description of a bald-headed man.

  banjaxed: Ruined or smashed.

  banshee: Irish. Beán (woman) sidhe (fairy). Female spirit whose moaning foretells a death.

  barging: Telling off verbally or physically shoving.

  barmbrack: Speckled bread. (See Mrs. Kinkaid’s recipe, An Irish Country Doctor and An Irish Country Cookbook.)

  barrister: Senior lawyer who tried cases in court as opposed to a solicitor, who did not.

  beagle’s gowl: the cry (“gowl,” not “howl”) of a beagle can be heard over great distances. To fail to come within a beagle’s gowl is to miss completely.

  beat Bannagher: Wildly exceed expectations.

  bee on a hot brick: Rushing round distractedly at great speed.

  been here before: Your wisdom is attributable to the fact that you have already lived a full life and have been reincarnated.

  between the jigs and reels: To cut a long story short.

  bide: Contraction of “abide.” Wait patiently.

  biscakes: Biscuits (cookies).

  bisticks: Biscuits (cookies).

  blether/och, blether: Talk, often inconsequential/expression of annoyance or disgust.

  bletherskite: One who continually talks trivial rubbish.

  blow-in: Someone not born in
a village but who has moved there.

  boke: Vomit.

  bollicking: Verbal chastisement.

  bollix: Testicles. (Impolite.)

  bollixed: Wrecked.

  bonnet: Hood of a car.

  bookie: Bookmaker.

  boot: Trunk of a car.

  bout ye?: How are you. See also How’s about ye?

  boys-a-dear or boys-a-boys: Expression of amazement.

  brave: Very.

  bravely: Feeling very well.

  break-up: Of schools. Closure for holidays.

  bright as a bee: Very alert and cheerful.

  brogue: a) A kind of low-heeled shoe (from the Irish bróg) with decorative perforations on the uppers, originally to allow water to drain out. b) The musical inflection given to English when spoken by an Irish person.

  bull in a china shop/at a gate: Thrashing about violently without forethought and causing damage/charging headlong at something.

  burroo: The bureau that paid unemployment benefit.

  but: Often tacked onto the end of a sentence instead of where it properly belongs at the beginning. “I’m not going with you, but.”

  bye: Counties Cork and Antrim pronunciation of “boy.”

  cack-handed: Left-handed.

  candy apples: Apples dipped in caramel glaze.

  candy floss: Cotton candy.

  can’t for toffee: Is not very good at.

  casualty: ER department of a hospital.

  champ: A dish of potatoes, buttermilk, butter, and chives.

  chemist: Pharmacist.

  chips: French fries.

  chippy: Carpenter.

  chissler: Child.

  chuffed: Very pleased about.

  clap: Cow shit.

  clappers (like the): Going very fast.

  clatter: Indeterminate number. See also wheen. The size of the number can be enhanced by adding brave or powerful as a precedent to either. As an exercise, try to imagine the numerical difference between a “brave clatter” and a “powerful wheen” of spuds.

  collogue: Chat about trivia.

  collywobbles: Vague feeling of being unwell.

  come-all-ye: Traditional Irish narrative songs which start with the bidding “Come all ye” (for example, “Come all ye dry land sailors…”).

  come on, on in: The second “on” (occasionally third) is deliberate, not a typographical error.

  comeuppance: Served right.

  corker: Very special.

  course: From the ancient sport of coursing, where quarry is started by dogs and pursued by the hunters who run after the dogs.

  cowlick: Hair hanging diagonally across forehead.

  cowped: Capsized.

  cracker: Very good. Of a girl, very good-looking.

  craic: Irish. Pronounced “crack.” Practically untranslatable and can mean great conversation and fun (the craic was ninety) or what has happened since last I saw you? (“What’s the craic?”) Often seen outside pubs: Craic agus ceol, Fun and music inside.

  crayture: Creature, critter.

  cup of tea/scald in your hand: An informal cup of tea, as opposed to tea that was synonymous with the main evening meal (dinner).

  currency: Prior to decimalization, sterling was the currency of the United Kingdom, of which Northern Ireland was a part. The unit was the pound (quid), which contained twenty shillings (bob), each made of twelve pennies (pence), thus there were 240 pennies in a pound. Coins and notes of combined or lesser or greater denominations were in circulation, often referred to by slang or archaic terms: farthing (four to the penny), halfpenny (two to the penny), threepenny piece (thruppeny bit), sixpenny piece (tanner), two-shillings piece (florin), two shillings and sixpence piece (half a crown), ten-shilling note (ten-bob note), guinea coin worth one pound and one shilling, five-pound note (fiver). In 1967 one pound bought one dollar and sixty cents U.S.

  dead/dead on: Very/absolutely right or perfectly.

  desperate: Terrible.

  divil: Devil.

  do-re-mi: Tonic sol-fa scale, but meaning “dough” as in money.

  dosh: Money.

  dote: (v.) To adore. (n.) Something adorable.

  doting: You are wrong because you are behaving as if you are in your dotage.

  dozer/no dozer: Stupid person/clever person.

  DUKW: Pronounced “duck” Six-wheeled U.S. military amphibious vehicle.

  dulse: A seaweed that when dried is used like chewing gum.

  Dun Bwee: From the Irish Dun Buidhe, Yellow Fort.

  duncher: Cloth cap, usually tweed.

  eejit/buck eejit: Idiot/complete idiot.

  fag: Short for faggot, a thin sausage. Slang for cigarette.

  fair play/to you: Fair enough/Good for you.

  ferocious: Extreme.

  fey: Possessing second sight, the ability to see into the future.

  fillet steak: Beef tenderloin.

  fire away: Go right ahead.

  flat: Apartment.

  flex: Electrical plug-in cord.

  floors: The floors of a house in North America are in ascending order: first, second, etc. In Ulster they are ground, first (North American second), etc.

  flying: Drunk.

  Fomorians: A race of mythical demons who inhabited Tory Island.

  footer: Fiddle about with.

  fornenst: Beside.

  foundered: Frozen.

  fudge: Falsify data. (Or a kind of candy.)

  gag: Joke or humourist.

  gander: Look-see.

  geld: Castrate.

  git: Begotten. Usually combined wirth hoor’s (whore’s). Pejorative.

  glaur: Glutinous mess of mud.

  glipe/great glipe: Stupid/very stupid person.

  goat (ould): Stupid person, but used as a term of affection.

  go away with you: Don’t be silly.

  gobshite: Literally dried nasal mucus. Used pejoratively about a person.

  good living: Openly religious.

  good man-ma-da: Literally, “good man my father.” Good for you. A term of approval.

  good skin/head: Decent person.

  grass: Inform to the authorities.

  half-un (hot): Small measure of spirits. (Irish whiskey, lemon juice, sugar, cloves, diluted with boiling water.)

  hames: Literally testicles. To “make a hames of” is to mess up.

  hammered: Drunk.

  have on: Mislead.

  head (good): Decent person.

  head in your hands: Be severely chastised.

  head (screwed on): Intelligent, practical person.

  headstaggers: Take leave of one’s senses. Make a stupid decision.

  heart of corn: Very good-natured.

  heels of the hunt: When all’s said and done.

  heeltap: Drink much more slowly than the rest of the company, usually to avoid having to buy your round.

  hey: Post-sentence verbal punctuation used in County Antrim (see so for County Cork and so it is for County Down).

  higheejin: Very important person, often only in the subject’s own mind.

  hirstle: A chesty wheeze.

  hold your horses: Wait a minute.

  HMS: His/Her Majesty’s Ship.

  home visit: House call.

  houl’ your wheest: Hold your tongue.

  houseman: Medical intern regardless of sex.

  how’s about you/ye? (bout ye?): How are you?

  humdinger: Something exceptional.

  I hear you: I understand completely.

  I’m yer man: I agree and will cooperate fully.

  in soul: Definitely.

  in the stable: Of a drink in a pub, paid for but not yet poured.

  jackdaw: A glossy black bird, Corvus monedula of the crow family.

  jag: Jab by an injection needle.

  jar: Alcoholic drink.

  jerry built: Badly and cheaply constructed.

  kilter: Alignment.

  knackered: Exhausted like a worn-out horse on its way to the knacker’s yard wh
ere it would be destroyed.

  Knockagh: Irish. “Hill Place.” A war memorial in the Antrim Hills above the Village of Greenisland. Based on Wellington’s monument in Dublin’s Phoenix Park.

  laugh like a drain: Be consumed with mirth with your mouth wide open.

  learned: Ulsterese is peculiar in often reversing the meanings of words. “The teacher learned the child,” or “She borrowed [meaning loaned] me a cup of sugar.” “Reach [meaning pass] me thon yoke.”

  let the hare sit: Let sleeping dogs lie.

  lift: Free ride.

  liltie: Irish whirling dervish.

  lockjaw: Tetanus. So called because the disease causes intense muscle spasms including of the jaw muscles.

  lolly: Money.

  lough: Pronounced “loch,” almost as if clearing the throat. A sea inlet or very large lake.

  lug(ged): Ear, kind of marine worm. (Carried awkwardly.)

  measurements: All measurements in Ireland were imperial at the time of the Irish Country books. One stone = fourteen pounds, 20 fluid ounces = one pint, one ounce = 437.5 grains. It can be seen that one 150th of a grain was a very tiny dose.

  meat safe: A box with a wire mesh door to keep out flies, hung outside to keep meat cool in pre-refrigerator days.

  mending, well mended: Getting better, recovered.

  midder: Contraction of midwifery.

  milk float: When milk was delivered door to door the milkman was provided with this electric vehicle to carry his wares.

  mitch: Either play truant or steal.

  more meat on a hammer/wren’s shin: Descriptions of a skinny person.

  more power to your wheel: Words of encouragement akin to “The very best of luck.”

  motor(car): Automobile.

  muggy: Humid.

  muirnín: Irish. Pronounced “moornyeen.” Darling.

  National Hunt: The body governing steeplechasing, horse racing over a series of obstacles.